how to get hit in the head with a bike chain

This one's simple. Walk through my front yard, half way to my house, smoking a cigarette, talking loudly on your cell phone at midnight. Then show up an hour later and throw a tomato at my front door. Then come back forty-five minutes later looking for more trouble. That's when I sneak out from the bushes and sling a bike chain at your face. Then your knees, then your back as you begin to crawl away. Consider reading or video games rather than skalking through a peaceful neighborhood.